


illicit affairs

by watchthesunrise



Category: Neo Yokio
Genre: Canon Compliant, Humor, M/M, Secret Relationship, they're both so stupid but its great
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28703961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watchthesunrise/pseuds/watchthesunrise
Summary: "What are you going to do?" Charles asked. "If you continue to date him, you'll most certainly lose your place on the bachelor board."Kaz smirked, a brilliant scheme forming in his mind."Only if people find out."// Kaz and Arcangelo attempt to navigate their way through a secret relationship, in an attempt to keep two very important things: status and each other.
Relationships: Arcangelo Corelli/Kaz Kaan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	illicit affairs

For the sake of absolute honesty, Kaz wasn't entirely certain how he found himself in this situation. 

That is to say, it was difficult to pinpoint the exact events that lead to having his back pressed against the cold brick wall of the alleyway; the taste of that last cosmopolitan on his tongue mingling with the bitter flavour of Arcangelo's French 75. It may have been somewhere between the arm Arcangelo had slung around his shoulders upon spotting him in the ornate club they both often frequented and that coy look that had been sent his way. Or maybe it was those breathy words whispered into his ear, just barely heard over the sound of Gregorian house music pounding through the building. 

An immensely intriguing question, however the answer would have to wait. After all, it was a bit difficult to think about anything other than the feeling of Arcangelo's soft lips pressed against his own, his silky hair underneath Kaz's fingertips, the soft noises bubbling up from his throat - 

Suddenly, Arcangelo quickly disentangled himself from Kaz's arms, leaving Kaz feeling dazed and unnaturally cold. A quiet hum of displeasure escaped him, and he blinked his eyes open to find Arcangelo pulling his buzzing rose gold iPhone 12 pro max out of the pocket of his now rumpled suit. 

"Sorry, looks like my UberBLACK is here," Arcangelo announced, his voice hoarse. 

"Oh," Kaz said, and the dull feeling of disappointment rising in his chest was utterly perplexing. "Uh, okay."

"See you," Arcangelo said, shooting Kaz a quick wink before slipping out of the alley and into the sleek black Mercedes. 

Slowly lifting a hand to his now chapstick coated lips, Kaz muttered, "well, fuck."

-

"Charles, I just had the strangest dream," Kaz announced upon waking, pointedly ignoring the taste of stale alcohol on his tongue and the slight pounding of his head. 

"Did you, sir?" Charles inquired politely, waiting for Kaz to exit his bed before beginning to smooth down the rumpled covers. "About what?"

Kaz moved to face his grand window, basking in the warm sunlight that seeped into his skin as he stretched his arms above his head and gave a rather exaggerated yawn. Not that he was stalling, or anything. 

He wasn't avoiding Charles' gaze either, of course. What reason could he possibly have for such an act?

"Well, I was at a club," he began. 

"Ah, the Gregorian house one you attended last night?" Charles, quite rudely, cut him off. 

Kaz froze.

"I - I suppose that part wasn't a dream, then," he said, "but the next part certainly -"

"The part where you made out with Arcangelo Corelli, your long-time rival, in an alleyway?" 

Well, then. 

Kaz felt his heart climb out of his chest at Charles' words, clawing at his throat and attempting to find a home on the ground. His voice was hoarse as he cried, "fuck, that happened?"

His mind couldn't help but think back to the night before; to how nice Arcangelo's lips had felt, how soft his hair was, how that coy smirk sent all the blood in Kaz's body rushing, well,  _ down _ . Everything seemed rose-tinted and heavenly, words he typically would not use in relation to  _ Arcangelo Corelli _ . It seemed like a dream, and how in the world was he meant to cope with Charles declaring it was not?

Wait. 

"And you saw it?" He screeched. 

To his credit, Charles bashfully lowered his head as he replied, "well, yes. I go nearly everywhere with you, sir, clubs included." He paused briefly, before continuing, "and I suppose I must admit, I'm a bit nosy."

"A bit?" Kaz snorted, the statement providing an amusing distraction. 

Amusing, yet unfortunately brief. 

"Shit, Charles, what am I supposed to do?" He asked, running his hand through his hair. "I don't even know what this means! Like, am I dating my rival now?"

_Dating_ Arcangelo. The idea was one of the strangest Kaz's brain had concocted to date, yet somehow it did not fill him with complete repulsion. 

"Perhaps you should discuss that with Mr. Corelli," Charles suggested.

"You want me to _communicate about my relationship problems?_ " Kaz said, outraged. "Have you gone insane?"

"Whenever I'm around you, sir," Charles muttered. 

"Charles, this is serious! I mean, this isn't just any person we're talking about here, this is  _ Arcangelo. _ I can't just -" 

As if summoned by some devious, unholy being, Kaz's phone began to ring. Brittany Spears’  _ Oops, I did it again _ blared through the tinny speakers, effectively cutting off his lament. Moving away from his window and slinking past Charles' large body, he swiped the device off of his bedside table and glanced at the caller ID. 

The name displayed on the screen caused his heart to stop, blood turning cold and coming to a grinding halt in his veins. 

"It's Arcangelo," Kaz said, panic rising. He shot Charles' a wide-eyed look. "What do I do?" 

"I would suggest you answer it, sir," Charles stated, voice flat and unamused with his antics. 

"But -"

"Sir. Answer the phone." The mecha's tone left no room for argument. Releasing a rather exaggerated groan, Kaz finally hit the proper button to answer the call. 

"Hey, babe!" Arcangelo's chipper voice filtered through the phone. 

"Uh, hi," Kaz replied, nerves refusing to settle. In fact, the pet name Arcangelo used only served to set him more on edge, confusion settling like a weight on his chest. 

"So, I was thinking we should go somewhere to eat tonight. Perhaps Lattanzi's?" Arcangelo questioned, unperturbed by the hesitance in Kaz's voice. 

Arcaneglo's words caused Kaz's breath to catch in his throat, and he could do little more than force out a strangled, "what?"

"Lattanzi's," Arcangelo repeated. "You know, the place with the oysters that are absolutely to die for? I mean, if you don't want to, I suppose we could go somewhere else, but you should know that I refuse to eat anywhere that isn't 5 stars and approved by at least one famous chef."

"Like a date?" Kaz asked, gripping his phone with whited knuckles. 

"Obviously," Arcangelo said. "We're boyfriends now, idiot."

Those words finally got Kaz's heart beating again, the muscle pounding vigorously against his ribcage. Kaz was rendered speechless, his mind wiping all thoughts away and leaving him with nothing but shocked static. 

"Kaz?" Arcangelo cut through the silence. "You do know we're dating, right?"

Kaz cleared his throat, before shakily declaring, "of course! I mean, duh." A nervous laugh escaped him. 

"Coolio. Pick me up at 7:00pm sharp," Arcangelo said. 

"Right," Kaz replied, "see you then."

Arcanglo hung up with a brief click of the phone, but Kaz remained standing, clutching the device. For a moment he was frozen, Arcangelo's words playing in his brain on a continuous loop. 

Dating. They were  _ dating _ . 

"Charles, we're going out. I need a latte," he declared. "And maybe a frittata." 

-

Lott's cafe looked as extravagant as one would expect Kaz's favourite breakfast place to be - he only chose the best, after all. It was formed of beautiful white bricks, the paint maintaining pristine condition. Fake flowers were strewn around the door, bright and alluring. If one listened closely, they could hear pleasant music waft from the building, mingling with the morning air and beckoning passerbyers to enter. 

Inside of the building was even grander. Multiple glamorous chandeliers hung from the high ceiling, illuminating the room in a pleasant glow. Paintings cultivated from seas of colors sat mounted on the pale walls, and large windows allowed sunlight to filter in. Tables stretched across the room, decorated with fine cloths and surrounded by chairs. 

The cafe demanded to be seen by those of wealth and splendor, of which Neo Yokio was in no shortage. Thus, it was always bustling with activity, and those who wished for the opportunity of dining at the fine establishment typically had to make reservations weeks in advance.

Fortunately, Kaz had no such problems. 

Easily strolling into the building with Charles' at his side, he was greeted with an array of pleasant smiles from the staff. 

"Mr. Kaan, it's so nice to see you. We are full, of course, but we can always make an exception for Neo Yokio's second most eligible bachelor!" The manager, who was clad in a white dress suit and a dark bow tie, proclaimed happily. 

"Obviously," Kaz drawled, waiting patiently as a waiter was sent to evict a couple seated by one of the grand windows from their table. However, as he stood, a thought soon dawned on him. 

"Wait," he said, nervously turning to the still smiling manager, "would I still receive service if I was no longer a bachelor?"

The manager laughed lightly. "Well, of course not! Being on the bachelor board brings certain perks, as you know."

Dread began to gnaw at Kaz's gut, the sensation nearly painful as he considered the manager's words. It had been made quite clear that if he were to date someone, he would no longer be treated as such a high member of society. Worse still, he would have to begin making  _ reservations _ for places. The mere idea of such a thing caused shivers to wrack his frame. 

"Sir, are you alright?" Charles questioned warily. 

Clearing his throat, Kaz forced a smile to his lips before declaring, "of course I am! I was just thinking how lucky I am to be single." An uncomfortable laugh spilled from his lips. 

"But sir, what about Arc-"

"Anyways! It appears the table has been cleared. Come, Charles, let's sit." Kaz hurriedly moved to the table, a confused waiter struggling to keep up. 

After their orders were placed and the waiter scurried away, Charles asked, "why did you say you were single, sir? You did agree to go on a date tonight with Mr. Corelli, did you not?"

Kaz quickly shushed him, glancing around the establishment to confirm no one had heard the damning words. "You heard the man, Charles! If I date anyone, I'll lose my place on the bachelor board."

"And all the perks that come with it, yes," Charles finished for him. "Does this mean you are already breaking up with Mr. Corelli? I must admit, this was much faster than I thought it would take."

The inquiry reverberated through Kaz, causing him to pause. It would only make sense, of course, to break up with Arcangelo if he desired to maintain his social standing. However, the more he considered the idea, the more he resented it. Yes, Arcangelo was his rival. He was infuriating, constantly causing trouble, and downright rude. Yet, for reasons he could not even begin to comprehend, Kaz found he enjoyed spending time with the man. Bickering with him was almost, well,  _ fun. _

Not to mention those gorgeous looks, and the fact that he was so insanely great at kissing it should not even be humanly possible. 

"I'm not going to break up with him," Kaz decided. 

"Then what are you going to do?" Charles asked. "If you continue to date him, you'll most certainly lose your place on the bachelor board."

Kaz smirked, a brilliant scheme forming in his mind. 

"Only if people find out."

-

The idea was solid, of course. As long as the public was kept in the dark about his newest relationship, he could have both the perks of being on the bachelor board as well as a gorgeous boyfriend. Truly, it was a genius plot, and Kaz mentally patted himself on the back for cultivating it. 

There was one roadblock, however, and it was quite a large one: the plan would only come to fruition if said gorgeous boyfriend agreed to it. 

Kaz knew Arcangelo adored the spotlight, and thus the act of hiding such a large development in his life may seem abhorrent to the man. Worse still, he could be offended by the proposition. The thought of Arcangelo questioning him on whether or not he was embarrassed of their new arrangement insistently prodded Kaz’s mind, leaving him with frayed nerves and chewed fingernails. 

By the time 7pm rolled around, the idea was beginning to seem like a horrid one. However, giving up the perks of his grand life seemed even worse, so he grit his teeth and strengthened his resolve while marching to the door of Arcangelo’s building. 

He hadn’t even knocked before the door was swinging open, and Arcangelo was greeting him with a positively blinding grin. Arcangelo thankfully appeared entirely oblivious to Kaz’s conundrum, a brilliant smile pulling at his lips as he ushered Kaz inside. 

“You’re actually on time!” Arcangelo remarked, flinging himself onto his antique Empire Mahogany sofa. “I’m impressed! And more than a little shocked, if we’re being honest.”

It was only the tumultuous thoughts plaguing Kaz’s mind that allowed him to disregard the rather rude comment. He hesitantly took a seat next to Arcangelo, before nervously declaring, “there’s, uh, something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Really? How hilarious,” Arcangelo said, “I have a matter to discuss with you, as well. I’ll go first, of course.”

“Sure,” Kaz agreed easily, not entirely ready to introduce his proposal. Besides, Arcangelo’s words caused his curiosity to pique. 

“Well, I was editing my latest podcast earlier,” Arcangelo drawled, “when something of grave importance caught my attention. As an avid listener, I’m sure you can guess the problem.”

“Uh, I think you overestimate my enjoyment in your creations,” Kaz said.

Arcangelo scoffed. “Please, there’s no need to play coy anymore, darling. You’re finally free to admit your love for my podcasts.”

Kaz blinked, shifting awkwardly in his seat. It was true that, to his great shame, he had listened to the famous podcast once or twice. However, he certainly did not follow it enough to even begin to estimate what may have caused a dilemma in Arcangelo’s eyes. 

“Just tell me,” he demanded. 

“The theme song, obviously!” Arcangelo proclaimed. 

“Huh?”

“My theme song has always remained the same since the conception of my wonderful podcasts,” Arcanglo explained. “It’s ingrained into my brand at this point. Unfortunately, there are multiple lines which state I am the number one bachelor. Of course, because of the song’s incredibly iconic nature, I can’t change it, which means I have to remain the number one bachelor.”

“Oh,” Kaz said, a heavy weight settling on his chest. “Does this mean you’re dumping me?”

“No, idiot,” Arcangelo replied, as if it were the most obvious of things. “It means we have to date in secret.”

The statement took Kaz a moment to process, the gears in his brain coming to a grinding halt. When they finally began turning once more and it sunk in that Arcangelo had come up with the very same idea he himself was so terrified to propose, the relief spread warmly throughout his body like one too many glasses of wine. He nearly laughed, drunk on the feeling of it.

“Yes!” His agreement was possibly a bit too enthusiastic, however Kaz was too relieved to care. “That’s a wonderful idea. Brilliant, even! We should definitely do that!”

“Well, of course it’s brilliant,” Arcangelo arrogantly declared. “I came up with it, after all.”

“Of course, of course,” Kaz flippantly agreed with a smile. However, an unfortunate thought quickly dawned on him. “Wait, does this mean we can’t go to Lattanzi’s?”

“It’s fine, I’ll just get my personal chef to whip us up something instead,” Arcangelo said. Then, he smirked at Kaz, shifting closer and putting a carefully placed hand on his thigh. “Besides, I can think of more fun things to do.”

-

“Dude, no offence, but you look like shit,” Gottlieb declared the next day. “You hung over or something?”

Standing outside of his two friend’s recently opened martini bar, Kaz also  _ felt _ like shit. The sun beat down much too heavily, and his legs protested the simple act of supporting his weight.

“Yeah man, crazy night?” Lexy asked, peering at him with curious eyes. 

Kaz thought back to many, _ many _ glasses of champagne both during and after dinner – “you might as well celebrate landing a perfect guy like me,” Arcangelo had said – and a long night of hands and lips and _ touching _ afterwards. 

At the memory, Kaz shifted uncomfortably on the spot. “Nope. Of course not. I was at home. Like, all night. There was not a single moment in which I even had the notion of stepping out my door.”

“Uh, that mark on your neck says otherwise,” Gottlieb said, moving into Kaz’s space to get a better look.

“What?” Kaz squeaked, slapping a hand over his neck. 

Lexy let out a gleeful laugh. “Our boy got lucky last night!” He slapped Kaz on the back, before questioning, “so who was the lucky girl?”

“No one!” Kaz yelped. The term  _ girl _ nettled at his mind, but he tried not to let it bother him. His friends were open-minded as hell, and would never let a thing like Kaz’s sexual orientation bother them. He simply had not gotten around to telling them yet, and with the development in his relationship with Arcangelo still fresh he decided it probably was not the best time. 

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Gottlieb said. 

“Yeah, give us a name!” Lexy jostled his shoulder. 

“Y-you wouldn’t know her,” Kaz proclaimed. 

“Who cares, dude? I’ll just look her up on Instagram,” Lexy said with a roll of his eyes. “Now tell us!”

“Uh,” Kaz stuttered, mind frantically searching for an answer. One other than the truth, of course. It wouldn’t do to break his and Arcangelo’s agreement the first day after making it. Besides, if one of them was going to break it certainly wouldn’t be him – he refused to give Arcangelo the satisfaction of that. 

Suddenly, a voice rang out, and Kaz was saved by the most unlikely source. 

“’Sup, losers!” Arcangelo called from the front seat of his convertible. Infuriatingly, he looked just as perfect as ever. With his Versace sunglasses perched in his neat blonde hair, his pressed collared shirt, and his skin practically glowing, he showed absolutely no sign of experiencing the same night Kaz had. 

Kaz swallowed.

“What do you want, Arcangelo?” Lexy groaned.

“Nothing.” His bright green eyes surveyed the three of them, noticeably lingering on Kaz. “You look like shit, Kaz. Crazy night?”

Kaz glared, attempting to ignore how the smug smile tugging on Arcangelo’s lips did funny things to his pulse. “Fuck off, Corelli.”

Arcangelo only laughed, before sending a quick wink in Kaz’s direction. It haunted Kaz the rest of the day. 

-

That night, Kaz found himself in Arcangelo’s apartment once again. Their lips met, and with a scowl, Kaz pushed the other boy against the bedroom door. 

“How the fuck did you manage to look so good this morning?” He demanded. 

Arcangelo tangled his hands in Kaz’s hair, a sharp smile on his face. “You should buy my new foundation line.”

-

The first month of their relationship flew by in a glorious blur. Consisting of mostly making out on Arcangelo’s surprisingly uncomfortable sofa, eating whatever his personal chef decided to concoct together, and throwing each other loaded gazes in public, their relationship was more fun than Kaz had even dared to imagine. There was something exhilarating in having such a secret between them.

Unfortunately, as all things do, this period eventually came to an end. Slowly, Kaz found he was beginning to lose that euphoric feeling. Arcangelo’s couch as a date spot was becoming increasingly a bit too repetitive, and even the chef who had been flown in directly from Italy was beginning to serve food that tasted bland. 

One night, seated on his bed and drinking the hot chocolate Charles had prepared for him, Kaz had a disturbing revelation. To his growing horror, he realized his relationship had become  _ boring. _

No longer feeling thirsty, Kaz set his cup down on his Perigord bedside table. 

“Something wrong, sir?” Charles, who seemed to have the creepy yet decidedly useful talent of always knowing the changes in Kaz’s mood, asked. 

“Charles, I’m beginning to think Arcangelo’s secret dating proposal was a bad idea.” Kaz sighed. 

“That was your idea first, sir, was it not?” Charles rudely pointed out.

“Irrelevant,” Kaz said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “The point is that all this secrecy is making our relationship grow stale. All we ever do is hang out at his place!”

“Then I would suggest hanging out outside of his place, sir.” Charles suggested. “Perhaps a bar?”

“I think the notion of a secret relationship has gone over your head, Charles,” Kaz said. 

“From what I have gathered, a secret relationship simply means not allowing anyone to know you’re in a relationship at all. Surely that could be accomplished at a bar.” Charles paused, before continuing in a low voice, “unless you believe yourself incapable?”

At this, Kaz immediately bristled. “How dare you, Charles! I am an incredibly talented individual! Of course I can keep a relationship secret and still go on dates. I’ll just have to be subtle and avoid being recognized. Easy.”

“Of course, sir,” Charles said. “I’m sorry I doubted you.”

“Thank you for the apology,” Kaz huffed, before plucking his phone off of the night stand. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to speak with my boyfriend.”

-

Arcangelo was surprisingly amenable to Kaz’s suggestion. So much so, in fact, that it made Kaz nervous. 

“I was on the verge of firing my personal chef, anyway,” he said when Kaz couldn’t help but prod.

Thus, on Friday night Kaz found himself preparing for his first real date with Arcangelo Corelli. 

“Okay Charles, what do you think of this suit?” Kaz questioned, giving himself a once-over in the mirror before him.

“I think it looks exactly the same as the five others you tried before it,” Charles drawled. 

“Excuse you, Charles. The one I’m wearing is a very deep purple,” Kaz proclaimed, “while the one I had before was a simple black. And the one before that was a deep blue. And before that…”

“I get the picture, sir,” Charles interrupted. 

"Isn't it your job to help me, Charles?" Kaz questioned pointedly, fretting with the tailored sleeves of his suit. "Because you seem to be slacking."

Charles heaved a long sigh, which was purely for show as Kaz was well aware that mechas did not breathe and thus had no need for intaking air. Honestly, he could be so dramatic. "Apologies, sir. I think you should go with the deep blue suit."

Kaz frowned, eyes fixated on himself in the mirror. He performed a small twirl in order to gaze upon the suit in full, before declaring, "actually, I think this one is the best."

"Wonderful choice, sir." Charles said. "Are you ready to leave, then?"

Kaz gave himself another long look. "No, I changed my mind. I'm going to try the rose colored suit on again."

-

Their decided upon date destination was a modern-looking bar called Tito's. The bar was inside of a tall skyscraper, overlooking the city. At night, the view was spectacular, the entire city gleaming below. Tito's was only ranked the fifth best bar in Neo Yokio, however Kaz decided this was in his best, most inconspicuous interests. Surely no one would ever expect Kaz Kaan to frequent an establishment rated only 4.8 stars. 

Such sacrifices must be made for romance, it seemed. 

In an effort to appear even more unassuming, Kaz and Arcangelo arrived at the bar separately. When Kaz entered, Arcangelo was already seated at the bar, sipping delicately on a martini. The man wore a deep purple suit that was cut perfectly to his figure, and Kaz cursed himself when he saw how beautiful Arcangelo looked in it. 

Kaz sidled up to the bar, standing merely inches away from his boyfriend. He quickly caught the bartender's attention and ordered a cosmopolitan, Arcangelo watching him from the corner of his eyes all the while. This secrecy, this proximity coupled with distance, caused a thrill to run through Kaz. It felt almost as if they were doing something wrong, and a part of him revelled in this chance to rebel. 

After receiving his drink, both he and Arcangelo stood from the bar. Without a word, they moved to a red leathery booth. 

"This place is," Arcangelo paused to take a sip of his drink, appearing to contemplate his word choice, before finally deciding on, "charming." 

Clearly he had read up on the bar's rating. 

Kaz silently agreed; however, being the one who decided on the bar as their first date spot, he couldn't help but bristle. "Yeah, about as charming as you," he muttered snidely. 

Arcangelo laughed, and despite the fact that Kaz had not taken even a sip of his drink he felt a pleasant warmth flood through his body.

"Quite the sweet talker, aren't you?" Arcangelo drawled sarcastically, however the grin on his face decidedly took away from the desired effect. 

"Of course," Kaz said, a smirk flitting across his face. "One of us has to be romantic, right?"

Arcangelo's grin fell. "Hey now, I'm plenty romantic. Much more than you."

A small huff of laughter left Kaz's throat. There was something in these interactions that was reminiscent of how they communicated prior to becoming a couple. This constant competition, this push and pull. Yet, there was also something entirely different here. Words spoken, which once may have filled Kaz with a blistering rage, instead invoked something else. Something new. 

Kaz found he liked it. 

He opened his mouth, a response forming on his lips, however quickly clamped it shut at the sound of a voice. 

"Arcangelo? Is that you?" An unfamiliar man demanded. He was clad in a bright blue suit, a white pocket square peeking out. His perfectly pressed tie lay flat against his chest, decorated in a pink, floral pattern. His black hair was pushed back with so much gel it nearly crossed the line into giving the appearance of grease rather than an intentional style. 

After a moment of careful contemplation, Kaz finally felt a spark of recognition. While he did not know the man's name, he had often seen this man trailing after Arcangelo; whether it be in a bar or on his brisk jogs around the upper side of Neo Yokio, he was always not far behind. 

This spark of recognition quickly flared into an immense feeling of dread. 

"Hello, Matthew. Fancy seeing you here." Arcangelo, clearly attempting to give off the impression of nonchalance, offered a small smile in greeting. 

The man, who was apparently named Matthew, only frowned in response. "Why are you here? You always say you refuse to go anywhere ranked under 5 stars."

"I'm trying to be humbler," Arcangelo said. "Helps me connect more with my fans, you know?" 

"Ah," Matthew said, agreement evident in the lilt of his tone. He nodded, as though Arcangelo's explanation were the wisest thing he had ever heard. Kaz was reminded of why he had never bothered to learn the man's name. 

Matthew's eyes then shifted, falling upon Kaz's form. Shock flickered on his face, before a frown resurfaced. 

_ "Kaz Kaan?" _ He said, and it sounded like a demand. 

Kaz attempted to meld his body into the booth. 

"Yes, didn't you know?" A sly grin began spreading on Arcangelo's face, sending alarm bells off in Kaz's head. He braced himself, but even so was unable to avoid the shock that entered his system upon hearing Arcangelo cheerily proclaim, "Kaz is one of my fans!"

Infuriation, it seemed, was an excellent distraction from secret keeping. Kaz sat up straight and glared daggers at Arcangelo as he seethed, "that is  _ so _ not true!" 

"Then why are you here?" Arcangelo asked, his face the perfect picture of innocence. Kaz didn't believe it for a second, but it was enough to draw him out of his indignation. He turned, and sure enough Matthew was peering at him with a curious expression. 

"I-" Panic seeped into Kaz's veins as he struggled to gain control of the situation. He wracked his brain, which currently felt like a hauntingly empty chamber, and came up with nothing. Eventually, with both Arcangelo and Matthew pinning him like a butterfly to a board with their expecting eyes, Kaz conceded. 

"Fine, you caught me. I'm...a  _ fan _ of Arcangelo's podcast." He spit the words as if they were poison. 

Arcangelo's smile was an attempt at sweet, but Kaz does not miss the immense amusement and smugness in it. "You see? Apparently, dear Kaz simply couldn't wait for my newest episode, and begged me to discuss it with him. And you know how I'm always trying to do charity work."

Kaz clenched his fists, feeling the sting of his skin as his nails dug in. He was almost sick with the desire to wipe that smile off of Arcangelo's face. Yet, under Matthew's piercing gaze, all he could do was glower at Arcaneglo, and hope it was sufficiently conveyed that there would be retribution to come. 

"Of course," Matthew said, as though Arcangelo's frivolous response held any actual merit. "You're such a good person, bro. It warms my heart."

"I know," Arcangelo said, pleased. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm trying to get Kaz to wrap his brain around the intricate metaphors that are evident in the nighttime routine portion of the podcast." 

Kaz debated banging his head off of the table. Matthew, on the other hand, looked at Arcangelo in wonder. 

"Dude, that sounds amazing! You know I'm a huge fan of your nighttime routine." Then, to Kaz's horror, Matthew slid into the booth beside Arcangelo. "Mind if I join?" 

Arcangelo blinked, clearly not having expected this reaction. He quickly recovered, however, and managed to have only a flicker of distaste in his voice as he said, "of course not."

"Okay." Kaz stood up, resigned to his fate. "I'm gonna go get a shot of vodka. No, two shots." 

"One for me too, please," Arcangelo requested, a strained smile on his face. 

"Absolutely not," Kaz said. 

When he reached the bar, Kaz bought three shots. 

-

Over the next two months, Kaz and Arcangelo discovered secret dating to be far more of a challenge than originally intended. Many of their dates continued to be interrupted, but when Kaz proposed that perhaps they should go to date spots with an even lower ranking than 4.8 Arcangelo put his foot down. 

"There are only so many sacrifices I can make for you, dear," he said sadly. 

Kaz had scoffed, but was secretly relieved. Of course, this relief did not stop him from pointing out that much of their dates were interrupted by  _ Arcangelo's  _ friends, and thus this was mostly his fault in the first place.

Arcangelo began keeping a tally of who was technically at fault for each interruption after that. Kaz was behind by two tally marks, but the victory couldn't help but feel sort of hollow when Arcangelo's reply to his gloating was always, "I can't help that I'm more popular than you."

In a sense, it was lucky that the two were so competitive. It made their challenging love life interesting, at least. Charles claimed they allowed their rivalry to bleed into perhaps  _ too much _ of their relationship, but that was probably because Arcangelo won more often than not, which left Charles was subjected to quite a bit of complaining on Kaz's part.

When February rolled around, Valentine's day creeping increasingly closer, Kaz was in desperate need of a true win. 

"I am going to get you the best gift anyone has ever been given," Kaz proclaimed one night on Arcangelo's couch, a pleasant buzz from the glass of wine he had just consumed thrumming through his veins. "Scratch that, the best gift anyone has ever and  _ will ever be _ given."

"Oh, that's cute." Arcangelo patted his cheek in that sweetly condescending matter that he was admittedly best at. "But we both know that I'm the master of gift giving."

"We'll see about that," Kaz said, flashing his most arrogant smile. 

-

"You're quite optimistic about this," Charles observed after Kaz announced his mastery of gift giving for approximately the ninth time that evening. "I must admit I'm surprised, sir. Typically you're much more stressed about finding perfect present."

Sunk into his white leather coach and nursing Tieguanyin Tea imported directly from China, Kaz was the perfect picture of relaxation. He took a long sip of his tea, allowing the taste to wash down his throat with a sigh, before declaring, "I assure you, Charles, my optimism is well-founded."

"Oh?" Charles questioned, curious. 

Kaz hummed in affirmation, setting down his porcelain teacup and saucer onto the side table with a soft clink. On the side table was also a Rolex catalogue, which Kaz scooped up with a flourish. Thumbing through the catalogue, a pleased smile pulled at his lips, growing wider when he finally landed on his desired page. 

Displayed on the page was a limited edition Rolex watch titled  _ 2021 Rolex Champagne. _ The watch itself was crafted almost entirely of a fine white gold, save for the face, which was a sleek black. Each number was a Roman numeral the same white gold as the rest of the watch, and the hands were encrusted with glinting diamonds.

"It's beautiful sir," Charles said, and Kaz nodded happily. 

"I know! It's also an  _ extremely _ limited edition. As in, they sold out before Arcangelo could get his hands on one, and he complained for weeks," Kaz proclaimed. "What he doesn't know is that  _ I _ bought the last model."

"Impressive," Charles said. "Have you already got it?"

Kaz scoffed. "Charles, if I had the watch do you really think I'd be showing you a simple photo of it? No, I would allow you to bask in its glory in person!"

"My mistake, sir," Charles relented. 

Kaz set the catalogue back onto the table, before once again holding his teacup and saucer. "The watch is being shipped to the jewelry store a block away. I'm picking it up this weekend, just in time for Valentine’s day."

"Excellent, sir," Charles said. "I assume you'll want a ride?"

"Of course," Kaz agreed. His smile reappeared, smug and entirely confident. Nothing Arcangelo could buy could possibly outdo his gift. 

"I win, Corelli," he muttered, happily taking a sip of tea. 

-

Kaz hummed a jovial tune as he entered  _ Antonia's Jeweller _ , elation in his every step. The anticipation of finally laying eyes on the beautiful watch was nearly as consuming as the anticipation for the look on Arcangelo's face when he realized that Kaz truly  _ was _ the master of gift-giving, and he hadn't even stood a chance. 

A petite woman was stationed at the register, a courteous smile on her face as Kaz approached. Kaz threw her a cheerful greeting, and she politely reciprocated. 

"Good morning, sir! Are you looking for anything in particular - perhaps a Valentine's day gift?" She questioned. 

"Actually, I'm here to pick up the gift that I've already ordered," Kaz said. "The name is Kaz Kaan."

The woman tapped a few keys on the sleek computer infront of her, before nodding. "Of course, sir. It's just in the back, I'll go grab it for you."

As she turned and left, a familiar voice piped up behind Kaz. 

"Yo, Kaz! Did I just hear you say you're picking up a  _ Valentine's day gift? _ Have you been holding out on us, dude?" A man said, and a sense of horror dawned on Kaz as he placed the voice.

He turned, and sure enough, there stood Gottlieb, a spark of interest in his eyes. Panic washed over Kaz, as he realized there was absolutely no chance Gottlieb would let this go. His mind frantically scrambled for excuses, but continuously came up disastrously blank. 

"Well?" Gottlieb prompted. "Do you have a girlfriend, or what?"

"No!" The word was ripped from Kaz's throat before he could even think. 

"Then who is the gift for?" Gottlieb questioned, a confused furrow to his brow. 

"It's for, uh," Kaz stuttered, still searching the reservoirs of his mind feverishly. Finally, his mind landed on a name. "Kathy! It's for Kathy."

At that, Gottlieb's frown only deepened. "You're still after Kathy? Man, you gotta let that go."

Kaz chuckled nervously, before desperately attempting to change the subject. "So, what are you here for?"

"Oh, I'm just buying some earrings for my mom," Gottlieb said. 

"You're buying your  _ mom _ a Valentine's day gift? And that's it? No girls?" Kaz asked. 

"Yeah, it's called loving your mother and being a good son," Gottlieb huffed. 

"My mom is dead," Kaz awkwardly reminded him, and Gottlieb paled. 

"Shit. Sorry, man," he said. 

When the cashier reappeared with the Rolex, it was a relief to them both. 

\- 

The next morning, Kaz awoke to a blaring alarm. Annoyance surged through his body as he attempted to bury his face under the blankets in order to escape the horrid noise. However, as his mind was groggily dragged into awareness, he remembered the date. His eyes shot open and he quickly moved to sit up. 

Charles stood over his bed, only the peeking dawn illuminating his giant form. A small screen on his chest lit up in time with the rhythm of the alarm, and displayed the time of 5:00AM in bright red numbers. When Charles realized Kaz was awake, the alarm quickly tapered off. 

"Good morning, sir," Charles greeted. "Happy Valentine's day."

"Happy Valentine's day, Charles!" It was almost strange, to hear and give the phrase and be filled with delight rather than dread. 

Kaz had a long-standing track record of disastrous Valentine's days. It began in third grade, when his classmate Rebecca kissed him on the cheek and thus unknowingly gave him an allergic reaction from her cheap inorganic chapstick. His rash didn't go down for two straight days. 

Last year, Kathy had been his Valentine, and the curse had unfortunately continued. He had forgotten to purchase a gift for her until the day of and, in his panic, had unknotted the tie he was wearing and presented her with it. 

"You forgot, didn't you?" She had accused, and he cracked under the pressure. 

This year, however, things would be different. Armed with the perfect present for his (sometimes) wonderful boyfriend, Kaz was certain nothing could go wrong. The curse of Valentine's day failings would finally be broken, and he would emerge victorious. 

Kaz and Arcangelo had agreed to exchange gifts in the early hours of the morning, when the crowds of lovers and lonely people had yet to awake, and they would not be spotted. Not to mention, a Valentine's day ball had been set for all of Neo Yokio's elites, beginning at 7PM sharp. As top eligible bachelors Kaz and Arcangelo would both be in attendance, of course, however there was little chance of them having more than a brief interaction at such a public affair.

Arcangelo had insisted their meetup would occur at the docks, and thus after getting ready Kaz found himself standing by the lake.The sun was not yet entirely risen, rays still continuing their journey and bleeding into the night sky. A warm orange reflected into the lake below. Waves gently lapped and the boats parked along the dock, the water coming to life under the sun. Amidst the various boats, a large yacht caught Kaz's eye. 

The yacht towered over the other boats, causing them to look miniscule in comparison. It was painted a crisp white, and some works that Kaz could not quite make out were depicted on its side. On its furnished, wooden deck sat two matching chairs on either side of a mahogany table, a candle placed atop its surface. Fairy lights were strung throughout the deck, illuminating it in a soft glow that complimented the rising sun. 

When Kaz finally dragged his attention away from the yacht, his gaze immediately fell upon Kathy. 

Clad in bright green workout clothes, she stood before him on the boardwalk, clearly in the midst of her morning run. Kaz was nearly too distracted by the sweat glittering on her brow to notice the deep frown on her face. 

"Hello, Kaz. I'm glad I ran into you." Her tense tone was a direct contradiction to her words. 

"Oh?" Kaz asked, confused. 

"Yes, I feel we need to talk," Kathy said gravely, and Kaz's confusion turned to a spike of nerves. 

"About what?" He questioned, mind reeling as he attempted to guess the response. Was she angry with him? Or did she perhaps want to get back together? That thought, which only months ago would have caused him to feel elated, instead filled him with immense dread. 

"I heard you bought me a Valentine's day gift," she said, and Kaz's mind came to a grinding halt. 

He stood silently before her for a moment, wondering how, as his ex, she could have possibly come to that conclusion. Finally, he recalled his conversation with Gottlieb at the jeweler's. 

Shit. He silently vowed vengeance against Gottlieb for this betrayal. 

Seeing no other option, he awkwardly agreed, "um, yes." On instinct, he dug the box that encased the beautiful watch out of his pocket, and presented it to Kathy. 

Kathy took the watch, and the absence of its weight in his hands felt like a grave loss. "It's a Rolex," he announced, a part of him hoping that the simple statement would be enough to satisfy her curiosity, and she would hand it back. 

Instead, Kathy continued to inspect the watch, thumbing its face and toying with the knob. After a moment, which to Kaz felt excruciatingly long, she lifted the watch out of its box entirely. Then, to Kaz's horror, she snapped it around her wrist. 

"It doesn't even fit," she said, gazing at the piece of jewelry with a frown. 

"Ah, my bad." Each moment Kathy still held the watch heightened his alarm. In another desperate attempt to retrieve it, he said, "you can give it back to me and let me, uh, resize it?" 

Instead, Kathy only sighed. "Kaz, you can't keep doing this."

The anxiety had seeped into his muscles now, causing him to bounce his weight between his feet in a nervous manner. "Doing what?"

"Trying to win me back," Kathy said. "You know I have a boyfriend now. Whatever we had, it's gone now. You need to accept that."

"Yes," Kaz hastily agreed. "Yes, you're incredibly right. Which is why you should just give me -"

"I'm not saying this to be cruel," Kathy continued. "This really is the best for us both. I couldn't stand to watch you waste your life pinning after me."

"Absolutely," Kaz said absently. "Now can you just -"

"You should be putting yourself out there!" Kathy gave him a soft smile. "You're a good man, Kaz. Others will see that, too. I just want you to be happy."

"Uh, thank you." The irony of her statement when she was in possession of the gift he had been meaning to give to his new boyfriend was not lost on him, but he did not have long to dwell on it. "Can I just take -"

"I should go," Kathy said. She took his hand and gave it a small squeeze. "Goodbye, Kaz." Then, she turned and left, the Rolex still seated on her wrist. 

The white gold gleamed in the sunlight, almost as if it were mocking him. 

Kaz wasn't certain how long he stared at the space Kathy had once occupied in despair, but when Arcangelo called out his name in greeting it felt like snapping out of a daze.

"Happy Valentine's day, mon cheri!" Arcangelo said, beaming. Always one to be perfectly on theme, he donned a deep pink suit and a white tie decorated with hearts. The ensemble was entirely endearing in an almost cringe worthy manner, but Kaz was unfortunately too distraught to even begin to appreciate it. "That's French for  _ sweetheart. _ I'm trying to be more cultured."

Kaz willed himself to return the grin. It felt forein and lopsided on his face. "Happy Valentine's day," he returned weakly. 

Arcangelo paused for a moment, eyes scanning their surroundings. Then, apparently satisfied that they were alone, he leaned forward and gave Kaz a kiss brief enough that when Kaz finally let himself melt into it, it was already over. 

"I think it's time for gifts." Arcangelo's voice was soft, his face still only inches away and hot breath puffing onto Kaz's skin. Kaz's heart rate sped up for more reason than one. 

"Uh, maybe we should wait until dinner this afternoon," Kaz suggested.

"Absolutely not," Arcangelo replied, with conviction in his voice. He stepped out of Kaz's space, before firmly declaring,"I've been waiting weeks to show you who the true gift giving master is."

The last shred of hope clinging desperately to Kaz's heart died. 

"Now, I'll go first," Arcangelo said. His grin widened, and excitement shone clearly in his eyes as he demanded, "turn around!"

Kaz turned, and found himself facing the lake. The scene had not seemed to change since his last glance; the waves continued to push against the stagnant boats, causing them to gently rock from their position in the water. Kaz frowned in confusion. 

"What am I looking at?" He asked. 

Arcangelo placed his hands atop Kaz's shoulders, squeezing them happily as he declared, "your new yacht!"

The blood in Kaz's veins came to a grinding halt, freezing in its entirety. "My what?"

"Your new yacht!" Arcangelo repeated. "I know your aunt only owns one, and no boyfriend of mine will have less than two yachts."

Kaz thought he might cry. 

Arcangelo, seemingly oblivious to Kaz's mental state, gripped his boyfriend's arm and excitedly led him aboard. He had clearly decorated the deck the day prior - or, more accurately, clearly  _ hired someone _ to decorate it - and the effort paid off. It was positively gorgeous under the rising sun, nearly rivaling the proud grin on Arcangelo's face. Unfortunately, Kaz found himself to be far too lost in his growing horror to appreciate either of these beauties. 

Arcangelo ushered him into one of the wooden chairs, and as Kaz sank into it so too did he sink further into despair. 

"So, what do you think?" Arcangelo questioned, still beaming. "Am I the best boyfriend, or what?" 

Kaz, whose thoughts consisted only of a possibly endless screaming at this point, struggled to form a reply. "It's great. Magnificent. Great. Absolutely lovely. Really....great."

If Arcangelo noticed anything off about Kaz's demeanor, he opted to ignore it. Instead, he simply widened his smug smile, and asked, "still think your gift tops mine?"

Kaz released a laugh so awkward it almost hurt to force out. "Did I say mine would top yours? I don't recall ever saying that."

"Ah, so the greatest-gift giver of all time admits defeat," Arcangelo laughed, clearly enjoying his victory. 

Kaz could only pray he would still enjoy it when he realized what it cost him. 

"Do you have any wine aboard this thing?" Kaz blurted. The gentle, buzzing warmth of alcohol was something he could use desperately. 

"Of course I do," Arcangelo scoffed. "But first, I believe it's your turn to give me my gift."

The screaming that echoed in Kaz's brain increased in tempo. In the face of Arcangelo's expectant gaze, his mind was only able to house his sheer terror, leaving little room for much else. 

"Well?" Arcangelo prompted, evidently growing impatient.

In what Kaz would later define as a fit of complete desperation, he found himself yanking the tie from around his neck, and presenting it to his boyfriend. 

"What are you doing?" Arcangelo asked, brows furrowed. 

"It's your gift," Kaz replied, voice cracking; and, god, he really was going to cry, wasn't he? "Here you go." 

For a moment, Arcangelo merely blinked at the offered tie in silence. Then, his face screwed up in either anger or grief, as he demanded, "are you breaking up with me?" 

The question shocked Kaz out of his despair. "What? No!"

"Then what the hell is this?" 

"A-a tie." Kaz said. It sounded like a question. "It matches your eyes!" 

Arcangelo's frown, if possible, deepened. "My eyes are emerald. This is clearly sage." 

"What? No it's not." Kaz turned the tie over in his hands, examining the material. 

"So not only do you buy me a tie for Valentine's day, now I find out you don't even know the color of my eyes!" Arcangelo spluttered, clearly taken aback by Kaz's incompetence. 

The hole Kaz was in only seemed to be getting deeper. Somehow, there only seemed to be one way out. An avenue more than daunting, and one Kaz did not take often: the truth. 

"Okay, look," Kaz began, deflating. 

Arcangelo, it seemed, was not finished, though. "I bought you a  _ yacht _ out of the kindness of my heart, and you can't drop more than what, _ three hundred dollars _ on me? I spend more than that when I go to the salon! What kind of boyfriend -"

"Okay!" Kaz cried, his raised voice finally prompting Arcangelo into a sullen silence. "Look, this stupid tie wasn't meant to be your gift." 

Arcangelo scoffed. "Oh, don't tell me it's lost in the mail. We both know you don't use postal service without paying extra for top of the line tracking." 

"It's not lost....in the  _ mail. _ " Now that Kaz held Arcangelo's attention, he found himself growing sheepish once more.

"What does that mean?" Arcangelo demanded. 

"It means I bought you a  _ 2021 Rolex Champagne _ ."

At this, Arcangelo perked up. "Wait, really? The limited edition watch that sold out ages ago? I couldn't even manage to get my hands on it!" 

"Don't get too excited," Kaz nearly begged. "Like I said, it's lost." 

Arcangelo's eyes narrowed. The intensity of his gaze caused Kaz to shift nervously in his seat. "Lost where?"

"Well it's sort of a funny story, actually," Kaz said, attempting to force out a laugh -  _ attempting  _ being the key word. "On my way here I ran into Kathy, and she thought the watch was for her. Obviously, I couldn't correct her, so," Kaz's voice grew quieter as he finished, "she took it and left." 

Arcangelo was still for so long Kaz began to fear he wasn't breathing. Before he could check, however, Arcangelo finally asked, "where is she, then?"

"Somewhere in the city, on her running route," Kaz sighed. 

A beat passed. Then, more seriously than Kaz had ever seen him, Arcangelo lowly said, "do you think we could take her?"

"She does martial arts," Kaz replied sadly. 

"Fuck." 

No more words were spoken for the rest of the morning, the silence interrupted only by Arcangelo's quiet weeping. 

\- 

Kaz spent much of the rest of his day in a foul mood. Immediately upon returning home, he had Charles brew him a pot of tea, before moping silently by his window with it in hand. 

"Would you like me to fetch you a book, sir?" Charles questioned after an hour of silence. "Perhaps the television remote? Gossip Girl is typically on around this time."

"Can't you see I'm mourning, Charles?" Kaz asked, sighing deeply into his mug. 

"Yes, sir, and I'm very sorry for your loss," Charles said, respectfully. "However, there is the Valentine's day ball tonight, so perhaps you should at least attempt to cheer yourself up?"

"Please, Charles. I just need some time, okay?" Kaz said, frustration with his mecha's lack of empathy building. 

"Of course, sir."

"Thank you," Kaz replied, and went back to staring out his apartment window. He wondered if perhaps somewhere on those streets below Kathy lurked, still clutching the beautiful watch. 

His grieving, however, was soon cut short by a series of sharp knocks on the door. Kaz silently debated simply ignoring this interruption, however the knocking refused to cease. If anything, it only grew louder. 

With a loud groan Kaz set his mug of tea down, before dragging himself to the door and easing it open. To his surprise, Arcangelo stood on the other side. 

"Arcangelo? What are you doing here?" Kaz questioned

Arcangelo said nothing, simply striding past Kaz and into the apartment. Confused, Kaz began to follow; however, he was soon stopped as Arcangelo whipped around and shoved his iPhone into Kaz's face. 

"What -"

"Do you see what's trending?" Arcangelo was practically seething.

"Uhh," Kaz replied dumbly, attempting to focus his gaze on the screen that remained only inches away from his face. " _ Chaniel? _ What's that?"

Arcangelo finally pulled the phone away, allowing Kaz to see the look of absolute fury on his boyfriend's face. "It's a ship name. Chad Shelley and Daniel Munroe." 

Kaz began to feel as though he was missing a very crucial piece to this conversation. "You mean numbers four and six from the eligible bachelor's list? People ship them?"

"Yes, people  _ ship them, _ " Arcangelo said, the words falling through clenched teeth. "People ship them because they're a couple." 

Kaz's thoughts came to a grinding halt. "What?" 

"It's all over the internet," Arcangelo said, flinging himself into a dramatic sprawl on the sofa. "The first two men on the bachelor's list to date  _ each other. _ They're practically the most famous people in Neo Yokio right now, and that includes the politician who died in that raccoon attack the other day." 

The reality of the situation slowly began to set in, like the tide washing over sand, steadily growing larger and larger until it was an angry tidal wave. "But they're not the first," Kaz said, a deep frown settling onto his face.  _ As if this day couldn't get any worse.  _ "That should be our fame!" 

"Exactly," Arcangelo replied. "And it will be; because tonight at the Valentine's day ball, we're claiming our victory."

Arcangelo's anger had clearly begun to abate, replaced by a grim determination. Something akin to pride flared in Kaz's chest.

It was possible that he loved Arcangelo Corelli. 

\- 

Truth be told, the Valentine's Day ball was tacky. 

The ballroom was absolutely consumed by reds and pinks. Rose-colored chandeliers hung from the ceiling, the light reflecting off of the colored glass and spreading a pink glow throughout the room. Roses were strewn about, and the music echoing through the building was perpetually slow and sappy. 

The ball was never about the actual event, however. Rather, the ball was intended for eyeing the dates brought by those invited; observing who was paired with who and inevitably concluding who the finest couple in attendance was. There was no reward for being chosen, besides a variety of photos being taken and an immense sense of pride. 

For the upper class of Neo Yokio, that was more than enough.

This year, the finest couple was known even before the event began. Chad and Daniel stood in the centre of the room, donning matching suits and practically swarmed by cameras. They were impossible to ignore, and the grins painting their faces made it clear that they were well aware of this fact. Kaz's blood went from boiling to nearly evaporated smoke. 

Arcangelo's hand was clasped tightly in Kaz's, and judging by the scowl on his face Arcangelo was fuming as well. The two stalked through the ballroom side by side, coming to a stop only when they were right in front of the newly designated "it couple." 

Chad shot them a smile upon their arrival, greeting them with a cheerful, "hey guys! Nice to see you here! Where are your dates?"

The anger had wiped all of Kaz's nerves away. In that moment, it mattered little that they were revealing a secret that had been so carefully guarded for months. Rather, all that mattered was claiming their victory. Thus, it was without hesitation that Kaz announced, "my date is right here," before holding up Arcangelo's hand, still gripped within his own. 

All voices in the ballroom fell quiet, the music seeming unnaturally loud as it poured through the hall. 

"Uh, what are you talking about?" Daniel questioned with a strained chuckle. Cameras began going off once more, clearly recovered after their brief reprieve. One reporter whispered to another, "is that thing rolling?" 

"Arcangelo and I are dating," Kaz said, ensuring his voice projected through the room and reached even the furthest ears. "We've been dating for six months! Which means  _ we're _ the first bachelors to date each other, not them!" Kaz pointed an accusatory finger at Chad and Daniel. 

With his proclamation, the spell of silence was broken. Whispers sounded throughout the hall, and cameras began to flash at a more frantic rate. 

Chad and Daniel both remained frozen, seemingly unable to tear their eyes away from Kaz. 

"I was thinking our ship name could be Arcangelaz," Arcangelo offered, and the whispers grew fiercer. 

Kaz turned to his boyfriend. "Wait, why does your name get to be first?" 

"It sounds better," Arcangelo said. 

"Please, Kazangelo sounds far superior," Kaz scoffed. 

Arcangelo opened his mouth, clearly intent on refuting Kaz's point. However, before he could do so, Chad finally seemed to snap out of his daze enough to demand, "this is a bit far, isn't it?"

Arcangelo's mouth snapped shut. He and Kaz both frowned, as Kaz questioned, "what is?"

Chad's arms fell across his chest, and a scowl pulled at his lips. "Pretending to date, just to show us up? It's almost pathetic, really." 

"Yeah," Daniel chipped in, "not to mention pretending to be gay. It feels sort of wrong, doesn't it?"

"It does have homophobic vibes," someone from the crowd called. 

Kaz gaped. "We're not pretending!" 

It was no use, however. The situation was quickly spiralling out of control, with the whispers from the crowd turning to outraged shouts. 

"I never thought Kaz Kaan would stoop so low!" 

"Claiming to date his rival? Does he really expect us to be dumb enough to believe that?" 

"I'm starting to think Kaz is super problematic." 

"I am not problematic!" Kaz erupted. "Arcangelo and I are dating! I'm bisexual and in love with him, I swear!" 

Even Arcangelo seemed to be losing faith in the situation. He dropped Kaz's hand, and was subtly inching away from his boyfriend. 

There was no denying it; this had proven to be Kaz's worst Valentine's day yet. 

\- 

The next day, Kaz refused to leave his bed. Instead, he remained curled under the covers, obsessively scrolling through Twitter. 

The bright side was _ Chaniel  _ was no longer trending. However, the cost immensely outweighed the benefits, as the hashtag was traded for a far worse one: #kaz kaan is over party. 

It was trending with the key word homophobic. 

"I am never leaving this bed," Kaz sorrowfully proclaimed. 

"It's not so bad sir," Charles said, setting yet another cup of coffee on Kaz's bedside table in hopes of coaxing the man out. 

"How could you say that?" Kaz cried. "I'm cancelled on Twitter, Charles! I'm not sure it gets much worse than this." 

"Perhaps you don't have the public's approval right now, sir," Charles said, "but at the end of the day, you and Arcangelo still have each other. Is that not what truly matters?" 

The statement left Kaz so incredibly dumbfounded that he emerged from his covers. "What the hell are you talking about Charles? Of course that's not what matters! I could lose my spot on the bachelor board for this disaster!" 

Charles sighed, sounding so exasperated it was almost impressive for what was essentially a robot. "I don't know why I bother." 

**Author's Note:**

> The message of this fic is that rich people are self serving before anything else, and also the absolute worst.  
> lol I do actually love this ship, I swear! I think they're hilarious together, and definitely need to date. I just also think Kaz and Arcangelo are both fundamentally selfish people, and while they do care about each other they can't quite say they care about status any less.  
> I hope this was as funny as I intended it to be! I personally think I'm hilarious <3.


End file.
